Regret, Remorse, or None of the Above

She wants you to know this pain tonight. She wants you to know she's sorry.

It's all been one big mistake, the sex, the nights, the wishes. She knows it's one big mistake tonight.
She's alone, again, what she told everyone she wanted. She'll call you her idiot. Who wants to be alone? Didn't you ever know her? Don't you know her? Don't you see the pain in her every word?

This is disgusting, she knows. This is awful, she knows. Sometimes you have to let go to grow, you have to change to get better.

You broke her heart. SHe wants to scream it at you, at the world that doesn't understand. Why can't anyone understand!? Why doesn't everyone know? How could they NOT know?! Why? Why?

He has no questions. He has none. I do. Why? Why doesn't he care? Why isn't he affected? Why couldn't he fight?

Because i've made my choice, it's over. I've made my choice, new loves don't hurt as much. I've made my choice, I'm getting over this.

Love is bullshit. Look at me say it, hard eyes. Look at me mean it, what a change. THis is fucked. This is far too complicated. You want your easy answers? Here's one... Love isn't enough. not enough. It fails you. It leaves you hurt, stranded. That's not what you wanted to hear. Well i'll tell you, you on your high horse, you with your imagined perfection. He'll leave you. Or you'll leave him. And that'll be the end of it. And you'll be alone again, like i am now. Not because i want it to happen, please spare you the pain, but because i know it will. It will. DOesn't that hurt?

Doesn't it always?


(Judge all you want, you'll never understand.)