To Live

There's a book so beautiful it makes me want to weep. it makes my heart ache. That's how wonderful. The words, the letters, the syllables. erotic beyond comprehension.

It makes me want to kiss someone. To have my lips -- no -- my soul touch another's. I want to feel a body against mine. To hold them to me. closer. closer. I want to keep my eyes closed all the while. But watch all the while. I want to make love again.

This story inspires me. Makes me want to whisper. To feel the tears roll down my face. As the words wind and weave i'm forced to feel so much more than life has allowed me to feel.

I want to touch something golden. or warm. or fluid. or deep. something wonderful. I want to come face to face with this feeling within in.

I feel as if the right hands could pick me up in such a way that it could pour out of me. pour. pour. pour. A beautiful ceramic vase. delicate and thin. in sunlight. with intricate patters etched into it's side. Cream colored and blinking. inviting. feeling more real than anything solid. pour. pour. pour. Water into water, soft and flowing. Blue and white and pink and purple. every color to catch the eye. Magical. singing a soothing rhythm. pour. pour. pour.

I feel so empty and full. Like i'm forgetting and remembering. needing and taking. caressing. sensual. happy and sad. proud and ashamed. a million contradictory emotions filling me. leaving me.

I'm breathless. I'm crying. I'm sobbing. and in this pain is life. it is pulsation. throbbing. trembling with life. pour. pour. pour.

Like running after sunset skies. This feeling of free falling. of air rushing past. of eyes closed. like losing myself to find me. like the ground rushing past and heart rushing past. and it's like moaning. that pleasurable. moaning. high and low. high and low. lose to find. sunset pink. like the world at my fingertips. brushing each crevice. each mountainous bump. gliding through each ocean and lake. feeling. feeling. every sense alive. alive. Awakened. Berathing. The whole world coming in and feeling it. Feeling every bit of it.

eyes closed. eyes closed.
pouring. pouring. pouring.
Breathing. feeling. moaning.
Living. oh god, living.
Eyes closed. Eyes Closed.

It's all coming in now. all coming in now.