Come Closer. Come Closer.

Watched a movie. It was set in paris. They were in love. they talked and talked and talked the way we never have. About things we always think about.

Shivered there as they kissed on screen and found myself to be tearing.

Who knew impending goodbye could be so unforgiving? so awful...

I don't want to tell anyone because i feel so weak and silly. But it feels like a secret i shouldn't keep. I'll whisper it here, to you now, not to be judged. not to be laughed at. but to be heard. I can't be alone anymore. I can't tell the one who needs to hear, won't ever tell him. A secret? I cry every day now. whole tears and whole sobs. I scream all the while. sometimes twice a day.

and there's only one reason. one cause. one thought that brings this. each and every time. even in the the public dark.

You're leaving me. I'm leaving you.

And i'm not sure how to be alone again. how to not love again. how to go through life with everything so meaningless.

Throughout the breakup that's what i realized. that's what i saw for the first time.... Every thing i did, everything i saw, was completely meaningless without you to share it with.

I think of the things i'll wear and the place i'll stay and get to call my own. I think of how i'll decorate or dance or read or sleep. And it's nothing without you. I'm nothing without you.