Imaginary Arguments

This is how she'll beg:

Please don't leave me. I need you here. I needyou to breathe. I need you to feel. I need you to live. Please, please.

Without you i'll go back to cutting my arms. to sleeping too much. to sleeping too little. To not talking. To not eating. Please, don't leave me. Without you I'll go back to who i was. My teeth will show and no one will see. No one will see me again. No one will see me again.

Please, I need you to remind me i exist. To make me real because i can feel your hands upon me. remind me i can love by the feeling of your lips against me. Please. I'm begging. I'm begging. This is begging.

You're leaving me. You've chosen to leave me. As the nighttime wind knows, and only because i screamed at sobbed it to it alone, I never thought you'd go.

Without you i'll survive. Without you i'll improve. Without you i could glow and grow and become an entirely different person of my own making. Without you i'll move on.

I don't want to. I don't want better. I don't want worse. I want you. only you.

I take no solace in others. no comfort. They never knew what to do, what to say. They've only known to lay bare face their own miseries. Comfort in not being alone in this pain. It's a load of shit. They dole out their lives like candies. The bitterness stings. Memories not self. A slap to recover from because it was quicker acting than a soothing word or two.

No one's ever understood. no one's ever understood. You never did either, i won't lie.

But only you in your silence, your words, your hands, your eyes. Your everything. Only you could quiet this. quiet this. quiet this.

Please don't leave me for bluer skies and bigger things. Please don't leave me for wonderful chances and lifetime experiences. Please don't leave me. please don't leave please don't leave me.


And then she'll continue her ragged breathes. close her eyes. And not whisper a word.