And She Won't Say She's Sorry

Here's another letter. different form. different place. different tense.

She's going to start by telling you she's gaurded. she closed you off long ago. Direct access to her heart was never yours. not for a moment. maybe a moment. If there is no affection there can be no pain. Keep that in mind as you go on. keep in mind that you couldn't ever hurt her.

Love could be a million and one things. It won't ever be you. Just like all the rest you tried to prove you were different. Thrown words with empty meaning. big words, high points. half sincerity.

She feel stupid again. not because you've ignored her. Not because she gave herself to blank promises. again. She ashamed because she began to believe you. She was reminded how gullible her heart really is. always has been. ridiculous how some things just don't ever change. She's always done this. always fell for this. And she began to again with you. even though she said she never would. again.

You can't say you love someone if you'll be over it tomorrow. you can't tell someone they're a part of you if you'll forget in a moment. Love isn't dropped so quickly.

She almost pities you. feels sorry you've never felt real long term love; for a moment wanted to show you how much it could really be. She wante dto be the first to take you through the maze of knots and tangles and strings of love. But she can't. Won't. and instead she'll look at you with sympathy.

"poor empty heart" she'll say as hers breaks over another.

"poor lonely boy" she'll say as she hears of drowning tactics.

"I told you so" she'll say. another bittersweet victory for teh team she never wanted to win.

Sighs will mix with laughter and she'll add you to the list of mistakes, the moments she regrets. A little harsh, she knows. But she's going to forget you

somehow...