Current events:

Reunited?!
staring at old pictures and seeing the happiness so obviously present. remembering how i felt with him. about him. when i was around him. I called today. HIs voice is still the same. answers the phone the same... I could hear the smile in his voice and i know i'm supposed to remember that he fucked me over and things between us will never ever happen again but... I still called. I called... I called Jason.

Missing
I think I only miss him because i'm lonely. and that if i had something better i'd get over it? i mena.. i haven't seen him in a month and maybe i'm only falling for what it COULD be rather than what it really was??? maybe i'm placing emotions that weren't ever there lik ei always do and so BECAUSE the memories with it's placed emotions seem stronger than it really was?? maybe i'm foolish and stupid and i don't miss him at all? I shouldn't. i still do.

Over
So i'm doing good at getting over what a fucking jerkidiotbastard Chris was right.... So i'm having a rough rough day and i'm drivin' down the street (a main street) and i see him. he looks right at me and i just keep drivin'. made me feel like shit. i wish i had been stupid enough to stop it when it wasn't yet developed. aborted before it was too late. bah humbug. then i call chelsea and we're talkin' and i hear someone in the background and chelsea says "oh, chris says hi." i get instantly angry. "t.h.a.t.s. n.i.c.e." in a really strained "and your point?!" voice. big long long silence. and in my irritated tone "ANYways..." and she's like... whoa... ok.. uhm... anyways... I wish the past week and everything it's contained and been contaminated by him would dissappear off the face of the earth.