A List

To compare to an older entry:

100 things you may not know about me:

1. I secretly believe I'm Anais Nin
2. I want to find my Henry Miller
3. I have more than one "professor" fantasies
4. Sometimes I get so scared all i can think about is how badly I want to die.
5. It bothers me that people are more ready to believe in hell than in heaven.
6. I love to ask hypothetical questions.
7. And it hurts my feelings when people laugh at them
8. I watch soap Operas
9. I have no real secrets
10. Most of my pajamas are pastel colored.
11. I never slept with pillows until i started to sleep with boys.
12. I fall for someone every summer
13. I've recently come to see my frigidity
14. And i guess that's my big secret.
15. I rarely read books more than once.
16. But i read my own blog entires uncountable times.
17. I don't really consider myself a writer but i have nothing better to consider myself
18. On bad days i don't agree with "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"
19. On good days i agree whole heartedly.
20. I don't think i'm love-jaded yet
21. But i've been jaded when it comes to friends since i was a sophmore in high school.
22. I now believe in arms length.
23. twenty two is my favorite number because i believe in pairs.
24. I'm in love with sunshine.
25. I don't believe in a lot of the things i did 3 years ago.
26. And sometimes that makes it hard to get out of bed.
27. It's a part of growing up and i have new faiths now.
28. I don't believe in relationships. But in Love Affairs.
29. I'm not morally opposed to prostitution. only against disrespect.
30. I think most porn is degrading and gross.
31. but not all of it.
32. I squeal when i'm excited.
33. I like the word "confines"
34. I'm not sure what would be the bigger insult, to be called ugly or stupid.
35. Nothing makes me feel more like a woman than spinning in Ballroom dance.
36. I live for heart swells.
37. I'm an imagist.
38. A lyrcist.
39. I don't know how to be funny
40. I consider myself socially inept so i'm usually adventurous and crazy to hide my insecurity.
41. All boys' voices begin to sound the same after a certain amount of time.
42. I don't drink or do drugs because I'm a control freak
43. Yet obsession rules me.
44. And that scares the shit out of me in reference to things like drugs and alcohol.
45. I'm a person of distinct Phases.
46. I get bored easily
47. I idolize my older sister.
48. and my mom.
49. I'm a compulsive liar
50. I have been since i was a little little kid
51. And because of that, It's hard for me to remember what really happened or what i lied happened.
52. I'm most ashamed of that in my entire life.
53. I see no problems with regretting things or being ashamed.
54. I like the way letters look. It entrances me.
55. I dream of dating a writer.
56. I think i'm a bit of a narccissist (sp?)
57. I know Adam and I won't get back together when he comes home.
58. I consider it a finished book.
59. And if i could close all the other ones maybe i wouldn't recycle boys so often.
60. I can't ever think of fake phone numbers
61. I always tell all the same stories and that embaresses me
62. I can think of one instance of being romantically interested / sexually attracted to someone of almost all races.
63. I don't like people touching me especially around my neck/shoulders/arms/face.
64. My phobia is more real than anyone knows yet
65. I'm not much of a hypochondriac anymore
66. I have the most romantic dreams.
67. I get lonely everynight before i sleep
68. I blog and journal and Myspace too often than is healthy
69. I hate literature classes.
70. I suck at spelling.
71. I like to do silly things like letters at lip bites and can top names.
72. I sew.
73. thinking of 100 things is like pulling teeth.
74. I have two less adult teeth than is normal
75. i've sprained both of my ankles once
76. I haven't climbed a tree i a really long time.
77. The first conscience insecurity I remember having is about the callouses on my hands when i was 4.
78. I can trace journals back all the way back to when i was 12.
79. I like to be feminine.
80. I have a sensitive gag reflex
81. I like the idea of god
82. I don't like the idea of exclusionary religions
83. I am ashamed of american politicing.
84. My faraway dream would be to move to a small semi-tropical 3rd world country innocent and free of human destruction.
85. In that dream I'm with the love of my life. As yet unnamed.
86. I hope we have kids. beautiful babies with thick rich dark hair, brown skin, and happy faces.
87. Perfection is static and I'm in full progress
89. The keys to my heart are words and sentimentality. always.
90. I'm a total doormat and i hate when people point it out.
91. or take advantage.
92. I believe I'm strong, though many don't.
93. I'm out to prove the world wrong
94. And i don't mind taking the long scenic way
95. My hate is usually mixed with pity and sadness.
96. And love with sexuality.
97. I don't know the difference between sensual and sexual
98. But i do between love and passion
99. But i would prefer them hand in hand.
100. But my life is going to be complete without it.