For You

I feel as if i have been gone for all of eternity. Until all of time has passed. I feel like i've missed years. I looked for the ages gone past. But time is still. No hours have passed. And the day remains the same. You are not home. You are not coming.

I feel cool and full of water. As if the smell is on me. The heat rises from every pore. The tired sweet laziness. The fantasy of it all. The softness. The sound of splashing.

Hair runs down into droplets and saturated skin wrinkles. I have been a mermaid. I have swum one thousand miles. I am back again. My legs are not strong. But my breathing is.

I feel thin and thick. I feel smooth. I want to run warm rocks against my skin. I want rich wine to run the back of me.

I want the night to be warm and the stars to be bright. I have stood on lighted balconies listening to these ballads for the first times. I have been each string so tightly wound. So tightly plucked. I have never been afraid. i have always been beautiful with dark shining eyes.

Even the moon has no grasp of real time. I am her caretaker.

I laugh at your image. Because I have never been a cat with claws outstretched. I have never had my back arched against the emptiness. I have never prowled. Your body so tense and judgemental. So cold. I will never want to unwind you again. You are yours and I am more beautiful. I am more beautiful.

And i breathe the essense from herbs spun with stones and exhale life. The moths and butterflies flock to be intoxicated with me. But they all fail. Only I can hold this. Only I can give this.

There is nothing left here. not green trees or acres. Not night constellations and rocky cliffs. No more poetry and no more brutality. We've missed it all. We went spinning waltzes and stories and woven blankets.

It's all come undone. A million loves have passed. It is only me. Bare.