It gets so cold here at night. so horribly heart wrenching emotionally draining cold. Shivering under my mountain of blankets and tear soaked pillows. tossing and turning unable to escape my reality of pain. burrowing further into sheets unfeeling and a loneliness that digs even deeper. Being ripped from conscieness into a harsher dream world with rough touches and cold shoulders and tragedies witnessed. Of loves lost and broken and hearts ripped from chests still beating. of blood and anger and running though hallways so afraid. I'm runnign so fast and i'm not going anywhere.

but nothing can stop me from wishing...

of just drifting off to sleep warm and happy. nicely and perfectly just slip into cotton candy dreams and bubble gum greatness. with a million pastel colors and the sorta stuff dreams are supposed to be made of... of warm kisses and friendships that work out and i can believe in love. of sunny days and window love. or shining stars and hot hot nights. I want to float off into fantasy land clouds of the most beautiful colors and "happily ever afters." I just want all thsoe sweet dreams you never wished me.