Because Nothing Matches the Quiet on the Inside

"Let's play a game" she thought to herself. Their screams were echoing in her little baby ears, the closet grew clausterphobic. Did you know that she can't breathe in small spaces? that her heart races and she's threatened by tears? even now? She hides it well, another trick of the game. Her hands are so small. It's dark inside. SHe knows, she knows the monsters may come out. That they may nip at her ankles, bite at her legs just before they jump out. She calls them goblins and knows they look like the monsters in video games. Jumping towards her, mouths open.

" A game, " she remembered. They were screaming and screaming but she learned a pretty little thing. The game really. To see how loud they could get, how quiet she could be.

Whisper, whisper, "i'll whisper" she thought.

Her voice grew quiet and she trembled to watch her world at war. To hear things she didn't understand "I let you even when i didn't want to." Her mommy said. She closed her eyes. That's still her defense. Close her eyes and nothign is so bad. Nothing is so bad, is it? There was moaning on the TV.

What time was it then? It doesn't matter, number never do to baby minds. Nothing matters to baby minds.

Quieter and quieter. The noise around her diminished

eventually.

So she'll play this game still,

She'll hide that she can't breathe in the small spaces you've put her, the small slots of life she's allowed. She'll close her eyes to shut the harsh colors out, to hope away the monsters.

She'll whisper and never say a word because she really needs some quiet.