I feel all dirty messy greasey even though today i showered extra long to try and wash it all away. I leaned against the wet cold warm hard walls of the shower forcing myself to breathe normal happy breaths and force the gnarl nappy angry demons out of me. No matter how much the streaming bathroom water scalded or how long i stayed in the steamy foggy dim yellow shower all of the screaming and sighing inside me wouldn't stop. my throat clogged with hot water filth and the smell of so many soaps cauing me to gag and choke. My hair knots itself into mean ugly monster tanngles and my skin itches with a thousand little invisible bug bug bites and this room seems too large to house such a tiny lonely creature like me. Summer smells of dirt, heat, and far away giggles drift in through my window with sounds of cut grass, dogs barking, and a bird of prey circling the sky. The phone is ringing it's polyphonic tune-y ring that sends glitter and swing into the air. I don't know who it is and it lies across the room from me. there is no use in answering. i'll only act awful and say awful things and regret it later...

I'm going to hide underneath my bed as i've been doing a majority of the day until night falls. The waning moon can be my angel.