I don't want to have to remember anymore. I don't want to remember anything about us anymore. I don't want to think about the gifts. or the days. i don't want to think about the vacations and trips. the souvenirs and the letters. I don't want to think about the songs. or the nights. I don't want to think about the sex. or your body. I don't want your lips. I don't want your hands. I don't to have to think about you each and every breath I take.

And most of all I don't want to think about everything we said the other night. I don't want to think of the way your body shakes when you sob. I don't want to remember shunning you. or being afraid. I don't want to remember that fear. I don't want to think of how sincere i was in ever moment. or how hard i've tried. I don't want it. I don't want any of it.

But I don't have a choice. Because i do. I do to all of it.

And i want. just so badly. so. so. so. badly. More than my pain.

But for your pain to stop.