I Know I Could be a Quiet Hero

I'm depressed again.

Just the word sinks to the bottom of my stomach, heavy and thick. A black tar dripping it's way down. Charcoal, gritty and sweet. Sinking deeper and deeper in causing twists and turns and all my muscles are tensed in anticipation.

There's a handful of things that could be the cause of this. the reason to be sad. It could be that i don't get enough sleep. I don't eat healthy. I don't love adam the same. School lacks. Work sucks. The sky is grey again.

It could be all of the above.

I barely know how to handle this, can't even put it into words the way i want. I just sit and think and think and let it seep into my body, running through my blood, affecting each part of me.

My bones and muscles ache. I can't sleep at night because the thoughts don't quiet and I sleep all day to avoid things i barely remember.

My whole self is tired. feels so tired.

And you're never there when i need you most.