I'll Always Wear This Heart on my Back

I told myself i had stuff to write... But i'm not sure if i do anymore. I did, but it's all gone now. My mind has a tendancy to do that...

Here, i'll TRY. it won't be any good and maybe i'll delete it.

Slip the sleeves down your arms, expose your bare shoulders to the biting cold. Fight back the urge to gasp as winter sneaks it's perverted hands down your back, in your shirt, over your body. Face the sun and hope to soak in warmth through the shine. But they're different, shine and warmth are. Stand there, waiting to be judged as you feel their eyes glance at what's there on your back, so silly and useless. You had nothing to prove and no reasons to act but you did it anyways.

You went to the parlor and pulled down your shirt and you smiled sweetly as they carded you. What meaning is there? What purpose? What a ridiculous heart, what a waste of time, what a sad excuse for permanence.

Not to say that you regret it, that you wish you hadn't gone. You don't. You're somehow proud. Just like you were proud of the cuts and scars and your pride when later on they faded. You're proud of the courage, the commitment. But that doesn't make it worthwhile.

Maybe you could tell someone a story, a pretend so hard you believe it story. Yes, tell them something so wonderful you fall in love with it yourself and believe it to be truth. You'll tell people that the black heart represents your inner turmoil or some heart wrenching breakup that left you drowning in the air. Tell them it's supposed to stand for the immortality of your hope and faith, that through such turmoil and heart wrench your heart has survived and it always will and it will remain intact until the end of time. Or, until the end of your time. Sure, it's a lie. You haven't had a relationship whip the ground from beneath your feet. And you haven't felt the slices of true inner pain. But it could sound cool, right? It would make you feel cool, right? Just the fact that you have a tattoo at all makes you cool... right?

Honestly, get over it.