THe thoughts that one shouldn't think when in love.

I used to think that maybe couples stayed together out of comfort. that they were just *so* comfortable that the thought of some sort of anything new might make them squirm. i thought that the couples i saw hated each other but stayed out of obligation. and maybe fear. fear of being alone and all that other such stuff...

I never realized maybe couples stay together out of hope. that maybe they keep hoping it's a fluke. or a bad day. bad week. that maybe it's just a bad moment. it's hope that they can change. change themselves to be better girlfriends and they'll change into better boyfriends. i mean, it takes two to love and two to see to it's end. so maybe you're hoping for a mutual change. just like maybe you ended up together out of mutual need.

you hope that if you hope hard enough the past can change itself. erase your bad beginnings. and you hope that if you hope enough the future will change from what you know is coming. create happiness and bandaids and happy sweet anythings.

maybe couples stay together because they love each other so much the thought of breaking the other's heart is like cutting off your nose to spite your face.

maybe thinking about it hurts so much it's quite likely to bring you to tears. but you feel it coming and doubt everything you once stood for. maybe it hurts so much to just be together it isn't making much sense anymore.