i've been reading this blog online about this random guy that i've never met.

it's so sad. i mean, it's not pathetic sad, or make me want to die sad, or go on a world crusade to end all problems every where sad... but... just sad.

I mean, he's so big man tough guy rough graphic horrid. but underneath all the words and in the side stories and in cute little parentheses he's just incredibly sad.

i guess i've always sorta been that way, though. a little too sympathetic.

i let it all get to me, i should stop, i know, i've heard it a million times.

but it's such a horrid place we live in and everyone seems so horribly miserable.

and there's nothign ANY one or every one can do about it.

things are sad. things are terribly sad. i shouldn't let it get to me but i do. and then i get obsessive yet i never do anything about it. i don't gain the cause as my own and fight for it.

i mean, if i did then i'd be one hell of a busy person. with everything on their back.

if i were a stronger person i would take it.

i'd stop eating meat and promote animal rights. i would become a social worker or police man and help children being abused. i would go to vets and adopt animals. i would stop wearing clothes that are made in inhumane conditions with child labor or sweat shops. i would become a doctor and help find cures for AIDS and cancer and i would be the shoulder to cry on for all that have lost. i would love everyone. i would do my best to stop drug activity and promote safe sex. i would make thousands of dollars and give it to people so people wouldn't have to feel the pains or being poor. i would grow my hair out and then cut it all off for wigs for people suffering chemo and i would make sure to be a donor and i would frequent hospitals to give my spare body parts to anyone that needed them. i would help agonized and lonely pop stars and struggling but real artists. i would read every book possible to always have the answer.


and through all of this i would never cry.

i would be real and wonderful and maybe, some one would think i had a shine or a specialness about me. maybe i'd be cannonized (sp?) or blessed or revered or some such thing.

too bad i'm no where close to everything i want to be.