Events for the day?

i went to my goddaughters bday party today. she turned 3. but our ACTUAL relation? well, her name is kayla. Kayla's mom is my brother's ex girlfriend and my nethews mom. Thus making kayla (my godaughter) my nethew's sister. get the realtionship now?

ANYWAYS at the party my sister's ex boyrfriend (jason) shows up. He is also kayla's godparent. The catch? he brought his new girlfriend. i was really hurt by it. i mean, he was like my brother sorta, more than my brothers were like my brothers. and when he broke her heart it's like he broke mine too. and seeing him again really hurt. and seeing him with this girl, really hurt. and i didn't know what to do. so i stood tere really awkward and bitter the entire time.

but that wasn't my fault.

and then, while at home, my sister called me and asked me how the party went. i told her. and this is where she proceeded to scream at me. i didn't mean to make her mad. i didn't mean to hurt her. this wasn't meant as a betrayal.

and then she hung up on me. and to all of you reading this seems like osmethign really stupid or silly or something like that.

well go fucking shove it. i don't need sympathy. i don't put shit on here so you can feel sorry for me. I write here cause i've no where else to turn.

cause, i'm sittining here in fucking tears and i have no one to call, no where to run, and... i know there are people there, but why make myself an inconvenience?