Good Friday

Chippendales in hawaii.

uh oh.

(edit: didn't end up going.)

So i did something i maybe shouldn't have done.

and i felt all like "yay" earlier but now i'm muddled cause i'm a stupid nosey girl that goes snooping in places where her nose doesn't belong. and to make it worse i'm even more girly by being jealous and stupid and doubtful.

what hell. that's why i'm supposed to go to bed at 12 each night. it's 4 and i've somehow convinced myself that adam no longer loves me.

i don't need anyone anyways.


god, who am i kidding. i'm so pathetic.

To The Someone You May Not Expect

So it's saturday night and 2 o clock. i've just gotten home and i wish you could see me. See my hair curled but now faded. My makeup dark but now smeared.

I wish you could see me all dressed up and then ready for bed. Because maybe you'd tell me i'm beautiful.

And maybe that's all i've wanted to hear.

Untitled for a Reason.

I wanted to tell you
What it feels like

To have him inside me
Over and over and over

Until he cums

With my legs
In awkward places

To Dr. Harrison,

i've been thinking about it

about The Barbie Doll
and those damned
Beautiful Changes.

The thought the
The Red Wheelbarrow
had plauged me
like the hottness of
Practicing.

I thought about it
while i saw a bird fly across the sky,
The Raven,
stark against such sun.

And it was then that I realized,

You're really quite awful.

Heart

I wanted to write you a poem
to tell you about my secrets

i wanted to tell you about my midnight drives
and how the air smells
when the air is heavy
and the stars are out.

I wanted to paint you pictures
of these skies
and horizons
and the outline of trees
that are in love.

I wanted to whisper in your ear
about the music I sing
and the tears that follow
and the wishes i make
to closed windows.

I wanted to write you a poem
of the beauty i seem to find
but can't seem to grasp.

To tell you that I love you.