Searching for Beauty

So, while i've been questioning what i should do with my life, where i should go, and more short term, what my major would be. I thought of it and i really enjoyed all sciences, i mean, i wasn't goo at any of them but once i got it i had it and it was fun, somethign i could see being interested in the rest of my life. So I considered my already decided path of being an English something-something.

But, while reading poetry at midnight of the Quotidient kind my mind spun into what i really wanted from my life.

I realized that all i can ever remember searching for in the people i met, the things i did, the world around me was beauty, it was magic, it was the sort of breathtaking essence of each day.

I also realized i could never find that for myself in biology, in the set facts of how the world was supposed to work. How could i see Magic in concrete rules?

So, i decided i should stick with my originial choice of english because in reading and in writing and in the art i find in it i see beauty and i see soul and most of all i see what i've been looking for my entire life.

Not to say that i've decided what i want to do for the rest of my life but now i think i know where it lays. I have so many ideas, choices...

I could be a teacher and see that innocent truth in kids' eyes and become a teacher. Teach them the beauty that i see in things.

Or i could try and become a poet, it'd be my optimal job but i know it's close to impossible to be successful as one. But i could write and weave my own dreams, the love i feel in everythign. I'd write the beautfiul kind of poetry about lvoe and sweetness and tenderness. I wouldn't write the poems that were so full of pain it's impossible to read through. Not the poems that face truth and misery so directly it makes you feel naseous. No, I'd write poems to take your breath away and feel whimsical and to make you hope, to wish, to try your hardest to make my fantasy into your reality. I would take you away on magic dream rides into the heart of myself where things are only made of shine and glittermagic touches. That's the writer i'd be.

And then there's all the things that i could really make a career out of, journalism, advetising, things of the such...

but i think i've made it obvious what *my* dream job is. but, that's just a silly dream.